Our Anniversary is coming up...

Excuse me for rambling, but it's coming up, June 14, 2012, and it is tearing my heart to pieces everytime, I think of it, so thought, I'd just write what I felt, and maybe that will ease this pain. I know many feel, "Hey, it's been almost 9 mo. - let it go!", but I can't! We spent 31 yrs. together through thick and thin, better or worse, good or bad health,etc. etc. You can't just turn off those feelings like a light switch, and unless you have walked in my shoes, you have NO idea of the daily grief, I live. Charlie was the first and only guy to treat me like a woman and show me the respect, ONLY he realized, I deserved...MY self esteem was very low, and I NEVER dreamed of having it so good! Our courtship was somewhat of a Fairy Tale. He took me places, most only dream of, and the memories are so heart warming! He loved me for ME and was my #1 fan and supporter. We had our highs and lows and yes, we argued, but never went to bed angry at each other, and honestly, as I look back on our differences...they were soooooo silly!!! I regret wasting our precious moments together over such trivial issues! Charlie was a wonderful husband and father, and unless you have known such a man, then you will never understand the emptiness, our daughters and I feel.

Holly and I have ask for our Memorial Day holiday to be that day so we will be off work. I can't work and feel the loss, I feel...Heather will be off also. We are like a puzzle missing it's most vital piece, and the only place, it can be found is Heaven.

I've had some tell me, oh in a year or so, another man will walk into your life, and you will feel that love again........when you have had the best, why look further?! Our love was until death do we part, and yes, he passed, but the memories, we made together will see me through for a lifetime!

bless you chrliesgal,
first of all just let me say you dont ever need to appologise for your feelings about your loved ones here hun.

some people seem hard and are frustrated by the grieving process as they simply dont understand it unless they have experienced something similar themselves.

Truth is we all grieve differently, there are no hard and fast rules to the process, so if ever you need to talk or rant or share your thoughts with us, please feel free.

I admire you for shareing xxx

Oh thank you! I am sitting here crying "again". I had a friend tell me you have to walk thru the pain to get to the other side where all the wonderful memories are , but I can't seem to get there, and all the memories still make me cry!

If it helps il share with you hun,
I lost my dissabled son Mark at the age of 20 in 2010,
There is no pain like that loss, no way to fill the hole it leaves inside and still to this day, im more forgetful than ever before.

Im lucky i have my husband, my beautiful daughters and my parents for support, but i tend to keep a lot to myself so as not to upset them.

Having said that, we talk about mark every day, like hes still here and luckily for me, i feel him around me all the time, everyday so it does ease the pain a little to be lucky enough to feel that way.

His anniversaries like birthdays and xmas are still very hard but we do it together as a family.
His grave is just outside my back fence of the garden (yes i live next to the cemetary) and we change his ornaments and things at every occasion.

My girls bought me a puppy last yr to help fill the gap and boy were they right, my lil dog harvey is the love of my life, spoilt rottern and mammies baby.

so im greatful for the small things hun, and when i think i cant go on, i have to wonder how ive come this far without him and it keeps me plodding on.

take care xxx

We do all those things too...it is a comfort! My little "Angel-Love" has helped us greatly!

you know what this may sound silly to some, infact youl think ive gone gaga but my lil dog harvey has some many charactoristics of my son its uncanny.

At first i thought it was just me looking for things, but weve all said something about how alike they both are in nature.

Strange but true :) x

That's awesome. We love Angel and I feel, God brought us together to help eachother. She needed adopted from that dreadful shelter, and we needed someone to care for and love.

big hugs to you both x

thanks tracey x

you are so welcome hun x